Reflections From A Soul

Where is the fire that burned so bright
Why this darkness consumes me deliberately hole
I do not fight as I instead, I succumb
To this form of idolatry I call my own
Temptation no longer seems so evil to me...
This alone is sacrilege, abominable, punishable by death
Why do You still hear me, if I still wrong You so?
What am I but a foul sinful creature?
Even the stench of my wrong still follows my every word...
Again, who am I that You are mindful of me?
I have pushed grace beyond its' bounds and mercy still covers me.
How awful a state am I in that I do not hate my sin enough to turn?
How weak is my faith that I cannot see Your goodness before me?
Dear God what is the meaning of the sinners prayer...
show me the truth of salvation
teach me to hate sin and love myself
these things I cannot do and neither do i truly know
Where is my soul at this moment?
It has drifted beyond the rise, beyond the fall, far beyond the safety of Your wing
How do I find my way back... without surrendering all control...
It is not possible... perhaps, the right request will be to say
Lord teach me the value of trust and the goodness of truth...
take me once again through the fires of salvation
Renew the fire in me again.
Make this knowledge a reality in this creatures life...
Be merciful on me sinner, but burn forever my sin.
More simply put... JESUS HELP AMEN